Skip to main content

Don't be a Diva

Divas act like divas because they have tricked themselves into believing that they are not getting what they are entitled to, and, perversely, that they are not worth what they are getting. Why?

When a diva receives something they feel entitled to, something expected, a thing they believe they have earned, it is not worth much (like candy on Halloween). And when they do not receive it, they are furious.  Furious in a way that is both irrational and unfounded.

Worthiness, on the other hand, is an essential part of receiving anything. (think of the difference of a participation award versus actually winning something, say the World Series). When you have worked hard to achieve a goal, you know the value of the toil, not so much from the success, but from the many failures that lead to the success.

When a diva feels unworthy, or insecure, any kind response, positive feedback or reward feels like a trick, a scam, the luck of the draw. They cannot appreciate a thing as genuine or earnest because they feel like it is charity. It is hardly worth anything, because they decided in advance, before they got the feedback, that they are not worthy.

Both entitlement and unworthiness are the twin narratives that make divas bitter, encourage them to be ungenerous, and keep them stuck. Yes, men and women can be divas..bottom line: Don't be a Diva!

(thank you Seth Godin)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Myers-Briggs and Social Media

If you have been working for any amount of time, you have most likely have taken the Myer-Briggs personality indicators (introvert v. extrovert; sensing v. intuition; thinking v feeling; and perceiving v. judging).  Here is an infographic created my mbti that has been broken into five sections.  It is pretty informative and goes on to show what types of indicators prefer which types of social media.
Myers-Briggs Type

The about graphic describes the various characteristics of the Myers-Briggs personality types and how they would be inclined to use social media. There are 4 types that can combined to create 16 "personalities." To enlarge picture, just click on the image.
 Do You Use Facebook
This is an graphic on how your particular personality type would use Facebook. It seems like extraverts and intuitive individuals prefer using Facebook.
Social Media Use at Work
This graphic explores how different types use social media and the web at work and their predisposition to share i…

Lupercalia and St. Valentine's Day

OK, I just could not resist this: Romance, sex, orgies, wolves, and martyrdom all under one legend. Oh my, what a day we have!!! We might celebrate romance and sweethearts on this day, but boy, the Romans really knew how to party. While history is fun, it is also interesting to know how some things never change (like falling in love and celebrating it!). Happy St. Valentine’s and Lupercalia. May you celebrate it at your heart’s content with someone who has stolen or whom you have given your heart away!  Lupercalia is uniquely Roman. It harkens back to the days when Rome was nothing more than a few shepherds living on a hill known as Palantine and was surrounded by wilderness teeming with wolves. The name comes from lupus, or the latin form of wolf, that celebrates the founding of Rome by Romulus and Remus (as they were suckled by a she-wolf). 
Another thought is that Lupercus, protector of flocks against wolves, is a likely candidate for the name. In any case, there is no question abou…

Men v. Boys

I have been reading a lot of articles of late about relationships and seeing some that put men into groups without understanding that men are NOT all alike.  By lumping all men together, the concept of being a gentleman does not come into play. Women, and people in general, have to realize that there are men of character, culture and grace, and then there are boys.  Boys are men who have chosen not to grow up and become wise in the ways of civility, charm, and substance. This post highlights the differences between men and boys.  Ladies, which are you dating? Men, whom are you?