Skip to main content

Three Truths in Life (humor)

This post goes to the heart of life and business; and all things that are constant and true. Being able to live with theses is often difficult, and sometimes these truths are best told in a story, as illustrated below:

The madam opened the brothel door in Miami and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

'May I help you sir?' she asked. 'I want to see Valerie,' the man named Richard replied.

'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else,' said the madam.

'No, I must see Valerie,' he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to Richard she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, Richard pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he calmly left.

The next night, Richard appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row as she was too expensive. But there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.

Again, Richard pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night Richard was there yet again! Everyone was astounded that Richard had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to him, 'No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?'

The man replied, 'Delray Beach.'

'Really,’ she said. ‘I have family in Delray Beach.’

'I know.' Richard said. 'Your sister died, and I am her attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Moldy Middle

While taking statistics during my quest to get an MBA and while earning my engineering degree, the professors always emphasized the importance of finding the statistical mean of any population by using the Central Mean Theorem (a.k.a the highest point of the Bell Curve).
As an engineer, this was essential in order to maximize throughput, minimize cost and waste, and ultimately make a better, faster, cheaper widget. A funny thing happened on the way to the dark side of marketing. I discovered that the only thing in the middle of the road was quite literally dead road kill.
I do not know if you remember stores like Bradlees, Ames and Service Merchandise (just to name a few), but they all folded because the environment changed and they were caught trying to service the mythological “average customer.”
Part of that change came when Wal-Mart began its juggernaut with the discount department store. Wal-Mart did two things right: 1) Focused on “mobile” consumers, and 2) Focused on offering g…

Lupercalia and St. Valentine's Day

OK, I just could not resist this: Romance, sex, orgies, wolves, and martyrdom all under one legend. Oh my, what a day we have!!! We might celebrate romance and sweethearts on this day, but boy, the Romans really knew how to party. While history is fun, it is also interesting to know how some things never change (like falling in love and celebrating it!). Happy St. Valentine’s and Lupercalia. May you celebrate it at your heart’s content with someone who has stolen or whom you have given your heart away!  Lupercalia is uniquely Roman. It harkens back to the days when Rome was nothing more than a few shepherds living on a hill known as Palantine and was surrounded by wilderness teeming with wolves. The name comes from lupus, or the latin form of wolf, that celebrates the founding of Rome by Romulus and Remus (as they were suckled by a she-wolf). 
Another thought is that Lupercus, protector of flocks against wolves, is a likely candidate for the name. In any case, there is no question abou…

Men v. Boys

I have been reading a lot of articles of late about relationships and seeing some that put men into groups without understanding that men are NOT all alike.  By lumping all men together, the concept of being a gentleman does not come into play. Women, and people in general, have to realize that there are men of character, culture and grace, and then there are boys.  Boys are men who have chosen not to grow up and become wise in the ways of civility, charm, and substance. This post highlights the differences between men and boys.  Ladies, which are you dating? Men, whom are you?