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Showing posts from March, 2014

Luck Has Nothing to Do with It.

Sometimes a story comes to me that I have to share.... and this one is about how sometimes luck has nothing to do with success...

This story is confirmed in Elmer Bendiner's book, The Fall of Fortresses.

"Sometimes, it's not really just luck."

Elmer Bendiner was a navigator in a B-17 during WW II. He tells this story of a World War II bombing run over Kassel, Germany, and the unexpected result of a direct hit on their gas tanks. 

"Our B-17, the Tondelayo, was barraged by flak from Nazi antiaircraft guns. That was not unusual, but on this particular occasion our gas tanks were hit. Later, as I reflected on the miracle of a 20 millimeter shell piercing the fuel tank without touching off an explosion, our pilot, Bohn Fawkes, told me it was not quite that simple."
 "On the morning following the raid, Bohn had gone down to ask our crew chief for that shell as a souvenir of unbelievable luck. The crew chief told Bohn that not just one shell but 11 had been found…

Pharmacology 101 (New Drug Names)

Some time ago, I used to work for a company that came up with names for drugs. Yes, some of them were pretty funny, but actually, there is some science to it. 
****WARNING*** This post contains some suggestive language, so if you get offended easily, please do not read (which means I know you are still going to read it!). Anyway, this is pretty funny, and I hope it gives you a chuckle!

The trade name is Tylenol® and its generic or common name is Acetaminophen. Aleve® is also called Naproxen.
Amoxil® is also called Amoxicillin and Advil® is also called Ibuprofen
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra®. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra® will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi® Cola as a power beverag…

5 Lessons on How to Treat People

Here is a listing of stories that hopefully help you understand how to treat people... the author is unknown.... the wisdom is priceless.
1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady"
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also …

Words of Wisdom

Your father probably told you a few things, but just in case he wasn’t around enough, here are some words of wisdom you might have missed out on:
Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once.Keep a change of clothes at the office.Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat.Every hat should serve a purpose.Never take her to the movies on the first date.Learn to wet shave.Nothing looks more badass than a well-tailored suit.Shave with the grain on the first go-around.Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them.Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.Exercise makes you happy. Run, lift, and play sports.Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.A small amount of your paycheck should go directly to your savings account every month.Call Mom and Dad every week.Never wear a clip-on tie.Give a firm handshake.Compliment her shoes.Never leave a pint unfinished.If you aren’t confident, fake it. It will come around.You can tell th…

My Living Will (humor)

10 Country & Western Songs that Should Be Written (humor)

Well, it is that time again…SXSW has hit town, and it used to be about music…so I thought I would throw in a humor post dedicated to some of the best new Country & Western songs that have not yet come out ..but should… enjoy..  10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long

Self Made Man

There's no such thing as a self made man 
For everyone needs a helping hand 
Due to flaws in the best laid plans
Until you learn you won't understand
Even with the world at your command
Those sacrifices you had to make
A road that few will ever take
All your friends have flown away
They did not want to stay and play
Now those chances seem all gone
You wonder where it all went wrong
There's no such thing as a self made man