Saturday, January 25, 2014

24 Things You Need to Consider

Since the dawn of the "Computer Age" certain things have come to light that we would have never thought of.  Here is a list of 24 items you might not have thought about, but alas are true.

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer and on line history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Google Maps / Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories (and better videos).

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day (and probably watch porn or some sport site).

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word / PowerPoint/ Excel and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Jack (Daniels), Jose (Cuervo), Miller, Bud, or Coors than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps and MapQuest had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! What would be even better is a "disable car" button!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch / phone 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.  Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Stress Test (humor)

This post  has to do with a subject I enjoy, Stress.  Yes, Stress!  As I like to say, I am generous with stress. I do not have stress, I give stress, but this post deals with real stress and not an easy way out......enjoy…

You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful girl. Suddenly she faints inside your car and you take her to the hospital. Now that's stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant & congratulate you that you are going to be a father. You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are. This is getting very stressful.

Then... you request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father. After the tests are completed, the doctor says that you are infertile, and probably have been since birth. You are extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way back home, you think about your 3 kids .....

Saturday, January 4, 2014

The 100 Best Quotations for Being an Entrepreneur

Since I have been emailing friends for over 15 years with quotations, and keep a post of quotations (, I have been asked by quite a friends to compile a list of quotations that would best describe the characteristics of an entrepreneur since it seems like most "Best" lists just seem to be a Hodge-podge of quotations without any real focus. 

In a previous post (Traits of an Entrepreneur), I listed the 18 traits of an entrepreneur which are: Creative, Perseverance, Self-Confident, Intuitive, Independent, Self-Motivated, Optimistic, Focused, Forward-Looking, Decisive, Enterprising, Disciplined, Cooperative, Results Oriented, Energetic, Persuasive and Organized.  This list of quotations highlight these 18 characteristics. 

1. “Creative people are at their most productive when they appear to be doing nothing.”
--Tim Askew

2. “Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”
--Franklin D. Roosevelt

3. “The creative urge is the demon that will not accept anything second rate.”
--Agnes de Mille

4. “When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.”
--Cynthia Heimel

5. “When you are happy, you are free; when you are free, you can be creative; when you are creative, your divine self comes out.”
--Jeffrey Fry

6. "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
--Robert F. Kennedy

7. "Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
--Danny Kaye

8. "I am seeking; I am striving; I am in it with all my heart."
-- Vincent van Gogh

9. “The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy of your own approval.”
--Denis Waitley

10. "Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they've got a second."
--William James

11. "Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
--T.S. Eliot

12. "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow."
--Mary Anne Radmacher

13. “Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air."
--John Quincy Adams

14. “A champion is someone who gets up when he can't.”
--Jack Dempsey

15. "Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."
-- Joshua J. Marine

16. “Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.”
--Newt Gingrich

17. "Victory belongs to the most persevering."
--Napoleon Bonaparte

18. "Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck at it no matter how much heat or pressure they faced."
--Jeffrey Fry

19. "The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that precedes the victory."
--Karen Bliss Livingston

20. “With ordinary talent and extraordinary perseverance, all things are attainable.”
--Thomas Foxwell Buxton

21. "We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world."

22. “If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

23. “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence."
--Mark Twain

24. "Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong."
--Peter T. McIntyre

25. "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

26. "Confidence is the hinge on the door to success."
--Mary O'Hare Dumas

27. "We need to be willing to let our intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly."
--Shakti Gawain

28. "Intuition does not come to an unprepared mind."
--Albert Einstein

29. “Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”
--Steve Jobs

30. “Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself."
--Doris Lessing

31. “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
--Judy Garland

32. "I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself."
--Michel de Montaigne

33. “Nature never said to me: Do not be poor. Still less did she say: Be rich. Her cry to me was always: Be independent."
--Nicolas Chamfort

34. “The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”
--Albert Camus

35. “It is hard to free fools from the chains they revere.”

36. "I am pushed by those who believe in me, but motivated by those who don't."
--Jeffrey Fry

37. “Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.”
--Lou Holtz

38. “Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius.”
--Benjamin Disraeli

39. "It's so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to."
--Annie Gottlier

40. "Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier."
-- Colin Powell

41. "One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself."
-- Lucille Ball

42. “Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress.”
--Nicholas Murray Butler

43. "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist see the opportunity in every difficulty."
-- Winston Churchill

44. “Committing to a goal does not always bring action, yet committing to an action will invariably bring you to your goal.”
--Jeffrey Fry

45. “Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”
--Alexander Graham Bell

46. “A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory."
--Arthur Golden

47. "Learn how to separate the majors and the minors. A lot of people don't do well simply because they major in minor things."
--Jim Rohn

48. "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
--Henry Ford

49. “There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept."
--Ansel Adams

50. “The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.
--Bruce Lee

51. "Live out of your imagination, not your history."
--Stephen Covey

52. “Worrying about things you cannot control is folly. Focus only on those few things you have any control over, and your life becomes much simpler.”
--Jeffrey Fry

53. "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."

54. "Talent hits a target no one else can hit; genius hits a target no one else can see."
—Arthur Schopenhauer

55. "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
--Albert Einstein

56. "If you don't have a vision for the future, then your future is threatened to be a repeat of the past."
--A.R. Bernard

57. “If you are not a trend setter, at least be able to exploit the ones you see.”
--Jeffrey Fry

58. "Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements."
--Napoleon Hill

59. “The mark of mediocrity is to look for precedent.”
--Norman Mailer

60. "When you run away from fear, it grows. When you move toward fear, it recedes. As you move forward, despite all the anxieties and uncertainties you feel, you'll develop courage."
--John Amatt

61. “Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary."
--Cecil Beaton

62. "One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive one."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

63. "The perfect day: going to bed with a dream and waking up with a purpose.”

64. “If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
--Lewis Carroll

65. “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

66. "In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."
--Theodore Roosevelt

67. “No matter how much we think about something, in the end, the decision is made on how we feel.”
--Jeffrey Fry

68. “A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now.”
--Nolan Bushnell

69. "No endeavor that is worthwhile is simple in prospect; if it is right, it will be simple in retrospect."
-- William Teller

70. “Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.”

71. “It never ceases to amaze me how the universe will conspire to help people succeed when they pour their hearts into an endeavor”
--Clayton Christopher

72. “I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor."
--Henry David Thoreau

73. “Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.”

74. “Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly."
--Julie Andrews

75. “People think I am disciplined. It is not discipline. It is devotion."
--Luciano Pavarotti

76. "Power consists in one’s capacity to link his will with the purpose of others, to lead by reason and a gift of cooperation."
-- Woodrow Wilson

77. “Leadership conceives and articulates goals that lift people out of their petty preoccupations and unite them in pursuit of objectives worthy of their best efforts.”
--John Gardner

78. "Teamwork is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results."
-- Andrew Carnegie

79. "The shortest and best way to make your fortune is to let people see clearly that it is in their interests to promote yours."
-- Jean de La Bruyère

80. "The greatest compliment you can receive is being counted on."
--John C. Maxwell

81. “There is no greater success as when you turn your enemy into your ally.”
--Jeffrey Fry

82. "Success is not about the income, it is about the outcome."
--Jay Goltz

83. "Success represents the 1% of your work that results from the 99% that is called failure."
--Soichiro Honda

84. “Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction.”
--Al Bernstein

85. “Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear."
--Norman Vincent Peale

86. “Profit is the result of risks wisely selected."
--Frederick Barnard Hawley

87. “You will recognize your own path when you come upon it because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need.”
--Jerry Gillies

88. “I arise full of eagerness and energy, knowing well what achievement lies ahead of me.”
--Zane Grey

89. “Life begets life. Energy becomes energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich."
--Sarah Bernhardt

90. "Energy and persistence conquer all things."
--Benjamin Franklin

91. “Out of need springs desire, and out of desire springs the energy and the will to win."
--Denis Waitley

92. “To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; to be credible we must be truthful."
--Edward R. Murrow

93. "Business today consists in persuading crowds."
--T. S. Eliot

94. “People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.”
– John C. Maxwell

95. "To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair convincing."
--Raymond Williams

96. “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.”
--Immanuel Kant

97. "A true leader follows the dreams of those he leads."
--Douglas Whatley

98. “Our minds become magnetized with the dominating thoughts we hold in our minds, and these magnets attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts.”
—Napoleon Hill

99. “Out of clutter, find simplicity; out of discord, find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
--Albert Einstein

100. “Harmony makes small things grow; lack of it makes great things decay.”

Friday, January 3, 2014

The Hit Man (humor)

I thought I would start it off with a bang, and a little ironic humor. Enjoy, and remember the value of discounting….

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them,

"Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't show up."

"Sure," they said, "You're welcome."

So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer.

Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

"I'm an assassin, a hit man," was the reply.

"You're joking!" was the response.

"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight.

"Here are my tools."

"That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here."

So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

"Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window."

"Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha ha, I can see she's naked!!

Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her..... He's naked, too!!!"

He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

"I'll do a flat rate, for you, five thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

"Can you do two for me now?"

"Sure, what do you want?"

"First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

"Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

"Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

"Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you five grand here..."