Friday, September 20, 2013

Lexiphiles (“lovers of words"). . . .

This post has to do with word-play… Something I truly enjoy.
Here are a few examples...


like: you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish (great album name btw) . . .

or: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me . . . .etc.).

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married . . . they fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name . . . and a dress.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it. (budget..get it?)

Local Area Network in Australia: . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center . . . you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was . . . resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could . . . jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone . . . it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was . . . fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory . . . which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be . . . exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair . . . she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture . . . a jab well done.

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