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Showing posts from September, 2013

Management Theory

There have been tomes written about management styles, and what works best to motivate employees to produce the best product or service for the end customer.  While this is all well and good, what has to be remember is from where you are speaking: West Coast versus East Coast..because, East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet!  To help you understand, I put a translation guide for your reference.

Understanding What is Intended

Many a time we think we know what our customers or partners want, but many times, what they are saying is NOT what were are expecting.  Sometimes being rejected is the best thing for our growth and understanding in where our place is in life.  This post was fitting since it involves being rejected, and have an expectation that leads to well, something totally unintended.  Oh, and remember, that is what business is all about... *******************************************
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone 'Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids....they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word..

So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low a…

Men v. Women (humor)

Today's post is about a subject that is near and dear to me, and which frankly there is not debate on. When it comes to competing with the fairer sex on some matters, men are just not that well equipped, is as evidenced below…Hope it brings a smile to your face. To all those brilliant women out there and to the helpless men who oppose them.....and when you think about business, remember this.
'Cash, cheque or charge,?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote, ?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
Pour it onto your upp…

Lexiphiles (“lovers of words"). . . .

This post has to do with word-play… Something I truly enjoy.
Here are a few examples...

like:you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish (great album name btw) . . .

or:I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . .. then it hit me . . . .etc.).

To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes . . . take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar . . . got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles . . . U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes . . . was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out . . . free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married . . . they fought tooth and nail.

A will is a . . . dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist . . . you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name . . . and a dress.

You are stuck with your debt if . . . you can't budge it. (budget..get it?)

Local Area Network in Australia: . . . The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is . . . hard to…

How to Get a Raise (Story)

As you know, as the Profit Prophet I like using stories to illustrate points I am trying to make.  This post involves and excellent story that you can use in order to get a pay raise. It does not matter where you stand or your background, all of us can use this advice, as we have all been there, but few of us have been so as the lady in this story.  Funny how just stating the facts can get the results you want. 
The Mexican maid, Maria, asked the Lady of the house for a pay increase.

The wife was very upset about  this and decided to talk to her about the raise.  She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?"

Maria:  "Well, Señora, there are tree' reasons why I wanna increaze.  The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife:  "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maria:  "Jor huzban, he say so."

Wife:  "Oh yeah?"

Maria:  "The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you."

Wife:  "Nonsense, who said you were…

Ocean Oddities (humor)

I do not know if you remember the show “Kids Say the Darndest Things” with Art Linkletter, but it was about interviewing kids about certain subjects and to listen what they thought. It was the funniest show for some time, and Art was so good with the kids…Well, here is something else that I hope will give you a chuckled as young kids describing aspects of the ocean. ________________________________________

1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (, age 7)

4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) - A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.. (Billy, age 8)

6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age …

A List of 100 Wise Statements

A good friend forward this list to me...that was given to a group of college students entering ECON 101.... most make a lot of sense and have some great advice.

1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.
8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
9. Don’t dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doc…