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Philosophers' Philosophies on Marriage

“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” ~David Bissonete 

“After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together..” ~Sacha Guitry 


“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.” ~Socrates 


“The great question which I have not been able to answer is,‘What does a woman want?’” ~Dumas


“I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.” ~James Holt McGavra 


“There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.” ~Sam Kinison 


“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.” ~Sigmund Freud 


“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” ~Anonymous 


“You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.” ~Anonymous 


 “My wife and I were happy for twenty years! Then we met.” ~Henny Youngman 


“The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....” ~Nash 


 ”Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming? 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.” ~Patrick Murra 


“A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.” ~Rodney Dangerfield


“A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine’.” ~Anonymous


“First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.’”  ~Anonymous

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