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Are you a Lexophiliac?

For all of you who love wordplay (which includes me), I think you will enjoy this lovely list of, um words! Enjoy, smile, and love heartily for life is too short to be little. Love, Jeffrey

FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)


1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.


2. A will is a dead giveaway.


3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.


4. A backward poet writes inverse.


5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.


6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.


8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


10. A calendar's days are numbered.


11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.


12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large. (this is my favorite)


14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


15. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'


And two bonus ones...


1. The man who ran into a screen door and strained himself

2. If you fall into the lens grinding machine you will only make a spectacle of yourself.

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