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Showing posts from October, 2009

Teachers and Cops (humor)

This post is broken up into tow segments: The first is about actual comments made by New York City public school teachers about their students (of course, these teachers were reprimanded, but boy are they funny (and sad)). The second is about what police officers said to drivers taken from the police cams. Thanks Steve Ackley for the forward!
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These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (.....but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This chi…

A Return To Skilled Trades?

Recently, I have read a lot of blogs and articles voicing the concern that America is loosing its desire to "work" and that we are outsourcing all our manual or manufacturing work overseas.  If you have ever seen the show Dirty Jobs on the Discovery and/or Science channel, you'll recognize Mike Rowe. Below is a fidoe he made concerning this topic: http://www.mikeroweworks.com/2009/07/mikes-mission-video/

This video introduce mikeroweworks.com and his plea to keep the "honesty" in an honest day's work. The synopsis of his plea is that his experiences as a traveling short-term apprentice for trade-type jobs has lead him to conclude that Americans are avoiding hard work or "dirty jobs" and that America is loathe to do the type of work to keep American strong. He feels that we have all become American Idles (not Idols).

So this begs the question:  "What is the likelihood that the tide can be reversed to show that jobs once considered "dirty…

Poor Legislation

"You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."
* Adrian Rogers, 1931 *

History Rewritten (humor)

For all those who remember Art Linkletter’s show, “Kids say the darndest things” will appreciate this listing. For those who do not, some of these comments are so funny I just could not stop laughing. Look for the double entendre and malaprops. The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling.

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have histor…