Wednesday, November 4, 2015
1. Law of Mechanical Repair-
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Access Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Visibility -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers -
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal or voice mail; someone always answers.
5. Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath -
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone or door bell will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Ghosts in the Machine -
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the difficulty in reaching it.
10. Law of Seating-
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance.
11. The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
12. Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
13. Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
14. Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
15. Law of Physical Appearance -
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
16. Law of Public Speaking -
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET! The contrary applies here.
17. Law of Product Affinity -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
18. Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick for days.
Monday, November 2, 2015
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
So if you are marketing a product or service make sure you are first well organized (i.e. have a concrete message that shows the benefits) and then use all the networking tools in concert to your advantage in order to create awareness for your product. Your competition will not know how to handle you.
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Fill your heart bitterness and rage;
Your soul is consumed with vile feelings.
The love you wanted was in your arms
but escaped because you could not come half-way.
And now, it is gone forever
Never to return into your life.
You are lazy and selfish and stupid.
You deserve neither affection nor comfort
For your actions are neither noble nor honorable.
You are destined to live a life of worry and doubt;
Unfulfilled and wanting; desperate and lacking;
Because you cannot ever love or be loved
You bring this curse upon yourself for you
Stay huddled in the valley of a dreamless day to day existence
whose only purpose is the preservation of an illusionary sense of security and safety.
You fear the adventure of finding true, deep, passionate Love.
You fear going into the unknown and the unexplored.
You have given up the dream of what may lie ahead on the heights of tomorrow
For a perpetual nightmare of endless days and nights
Fearing the loss of a tenuous and unattainable feeling of refuge
Because you have chosen not to grow, nor learn how to truly love,
You are forever cursed.
Sunday, July 5, 2015
1. Make peace with your past, so it doesn’t spoil your present. Your past does not define your future – your actions and beliefs do.
2. What others think of you is none of your business. It’s how much you value yourself and how important you think you are.
3. Time heals almost everything, give time, time. Pain will be less hurting. Scars make us who we are; they explain our life and why we are the way we are. They challenge us and force us to be stronger.
4. No one is the reason for your own happiness, except you yourself. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside.
5. Don’t compare your life with others’, you have no idea what their journey is all about. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we would grab ours back as fast as we could.
6. Stop thinking too much, it’s alright not to know all the answers. Sometime there is no answer, not going to be any answer, never has been an answer. That’s the answer! Just accept it, move on, NEXT!
7. Smile, you don’t own all the problems in the world. A smile can brighten the darkest day and make life more beautiful. It is a potential curve to turn a life around and set everything straight.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
There is an excellent tale, by American poet John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887), that is based on a fable told in India many years ago. It is a good warning about how our sensory perceptions can lead to some serious misinterpretations; especially when we focus on one part in relationship to the whole. It also deals with how people perceive things from where THEY stand not from were YOU stand. The tale in entirety follows this post.
While this is an excellent tale about perception, it is also a cautionary tale for anyone trying to market a product to a general population. While you are trying to "sell" an elephant, certain features of the elephant will be more important and more pronounced than others. So, what you as a good marketer have to do is figure out what are the most profitable market segments to sell to and then highlight those features prominently, that includes determining if someone wants the "whole" elephant. In some instances, and if possible, you will have to unbundle your products (sell just the rope and snake), to hit your target market, and when you cannot unbundle, you have to show the value of the chief features of your product, and "just throw" in the other features for free.
In any case, never assume your market is monolithic, but also make sure you just do not focus on one segment at the exclusion of all others. You DO NOT want to sell an elephant for the price of a rope or a fan!
It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind
The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"
The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, "Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
" 'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!
So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
6. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
7. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
8. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
9. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
11. Going to church (temple, mosque) doesn't make you a Christian (or Jew, Muslim, etc.) any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
12. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public (ok, maybe some of us).
13. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
14. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
15.Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
16.Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
17. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
18. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
19. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
20. The Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.